Hi
I have never written a diary or blog so if i am doing this completely wrong then i am sorry, i am learning! I am 18 years old and completing my A-levels at the moment. As i am saying that i remind myself instead of sitting on the computer writing to you, i am meant to be upstairs revising. I have an M2 exam tomorrow, which is Mechanic in Maths. Why i decided to take it i will never know. I find it so difficult.
I suppose everyone finds something difficult and at the end of the day at least i tried right? I like so many young people have the problem of "lack of motivation." For me it doesn't end with studing though, i have a problem with my weight.
Thats why i am writing this blog to basically try and push my self a bit into what i need to do, lose weight! I am 11 stone and 5 1/2 pounds which is 2 stone heavier than i should be. I go to a class and i have lost so far a total of 10 pounds i think so that good, but i have reached a point where i can no longer keep it up, the pressure of school, exams, and friends, has lead me back to relying on my dear old comfort blanket of food. So i am hoping that this will help me.
What can i say i am a normal teenager, though the concept of normal basically is non existent, as what is normal? SO basically i am a teenager.
I eat to make me happy. So when i refuse "nice food" to my body i get very down, Mainly because i am unhappy before but even more so because i can't eat. Though i know my dream would be to be able to go into a shop like top shop and pick up a size 12 top or skirt and it will fit. But at the time i feel bad it doesn't matter, because all i want is food.
Take today for example, i am totally stressed about the exam. So i go and spend £20 down at the local Co-op on sweet and chocolate and yes i have eaten all of them. It made me feel better while i did that, sick afterwards and now totally cross with myself because at the end of the day i have put on probaly 4 pounds maybe (not very good at judging these things) for what 30 minutes of eating my favourite foods, only to feel abolutely sick afterwards and then this feeling. Yet this is the first time i have done it.
Well i suppose i should go and revise newtons laws and momentum or something. So i'll sign off for now. I am sure i will write tomorrow, probaly more on the lines of the exam, rather than weight, it could be regarding chocolate for comfort. Lets see.
No NO NO poppy! don't think like that. I will be fine, and if not, i will be good with my food intake! That right, isn't it?